Tough Love
by Melissa (Honey Bee)
This story was written for the Wedding
Day
Fan Fiction Contest at Tanya's
Little Men Transcripts Page.
The contest description given was this:
'Plans for a wedding in the Plumfield family are
well underway,
but with only a day or two left until the exchange of vows,
things aren't going quite as smoothly as everyone might have hoped . . . '
“A worm!” Nan exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with merriment as she picked
up the wriggling creature.
Nat, reclining against a tree, watched her silently.
“I know, I’m practically a married woman and I
shouldn’t be digging in the dirt for worms,” Nan laughed, letting the worm
crawl off her finger. She observed
the worm as it wiggled away towards the pond.
Nan jumped up and brushed her hands against her skirt, then walked over
to Nat and sat next to him.
A slow smile
spread across Nat’s face. Six
months had passed since Nan had accepted his proposal of marriage, and there was
only one day left before they would wed. Nat
remembered clearly the day he had bent down on his knee, clasped Nan’s hand,
and said the words his heart had been longing to say for years but he had never
dared voice. Somehow he had doubted
Nan would really say yes . . . somehow it felt too much like a dream. But it was real, and now the wedding was only a day away!
It still felt like a dream—after all the talk, the preparation—he
still felt dazed. Even today.
Even with the early wedding presents friends had given them, even with
his formal black suit bought and paid for, even with the church’s flowers and
decorations already arranged. Strangely,
he felt a bit like he was in a large audience watching himself on a stage.
Even the nervousness he had expected to feel was lacking.
Nan was talking . .
. about the patients she had been caring for in town.
Nat tried to listen, but her enthusiasm about sutures and bandages and
stitches seemed grotesque. Nat’s
jaw tensed. He could not understand why he felt this way, when he had
always enjoyed Nan’s doctoring pursuits before—he had always been proud of
her.
“You
haven’t been listening, have you?” Nan sighed.
Nat
looked at her glinting golden hair, then at her eyes. They were staring at him, disappointed. Nat felt a little guilty, but he couldn’t seem to
apologize. He stood up suddenly.
“I have to go.” He turned and marched away.
~~~~
Nan sat down hard on her bed. It
was the same she had always had, in the same room of the same
house—Plumfield—but she had always shared the room with Bess.
Bess had married Dan a year ago; things at Plumfield weren’t the same
without them. They still visited often, joking and reminiscing about the
old days, but Nan missed Bess.
Nan took out
a medical book and began to read. Normally
she found the deep surgical terms exciting, but now—she couldn’t
concentrate. All she saw was
Nat’s impassive face.
A knock
sounded on the door. Nan froze,
wondering if it was Nat—dare she hope he had come to remedy things?
She stood up unsteadily and flung the door open.
Jo stood
there. “Nan, we need your opinion
on what color the cake should be—and there are more flowers to arrange,
and—”
“Do it
yourself!” Nan snapped and slammed the door shut in Jo’s stunned face.
Nan crumpled
onto the bed, covering her face and willing herself not to cry.
“Why, Nat?” she whispered. “Why
did you leave me?”
~~~~
Nat didn’t know where he was going.
His strides were long and swift, but he didn’t know where he was going.
He was staring at the ground as he walked.
Green grass, little pink and white flowers . . . how could everything be
so bright and lovely?
She
doesn’t love me. The words
echoed in Nat’s mind, taunting him. Nan
loved medicine—bottles, worms, leaves, bandages, stethoscopes!
She loves them—not me. He
felt a dull ache in his head, and something much worse in his heart.
She said she loved me. A
tiny black bug on a blade of grass . . . his legs marched onward . . . a
pinecone . . . his legs marched onward. Shadows
interrupted his path, and he looked up. There
was a forest ahead of him. . . . His legs marched onward.
~~~~
“Where’s dat boy?” Asia mumbled, setting the steaming corn on the
table. “It’s the night before
his weddin’, and he ain’t even here!”
Nan’s head
jerked up. The Plumfield children, along with Nick, Jo, Amy, and Laurie,
were seated at two tables in the dining room.
“You
haven’t seen Nat?” Nan asked, breathless.
Asia sighed.
“Not since this mornin’ when you went outside with ’im.”
Dan frowned.
“I was lookin’ for him, but he didn’t seem to be anywhere
around.”
Nan’s lips
stiffened into a line and she plopped a spoonful of mashed potatoes on her
plate.
“We better
go look for ’im,” Nick said, pushing away from the table and standing up.
“He’ll be
fine,” Nan snapped.
Nan felt the
eyes of everyone upon her. She
clenched her jaw and slowly poured gravy over her potatoes.
Nick, after a
slight hesitation, motioned to Dan. “Come
on. We’re gonna find Nat.”
Nan’s chest tightened, and she avoided the stares of
concern around her.
Laurie
awkwardly got up, said a hasty goodbye, and left the room to go after Nick and
Dan. Some of the other boys
followed.
Nan’s lips
trembled so she bit down on her lower lip.
She could sense that Jo or Bess was about to say something, so she stood
up suddenly. Before the tears could overflow, Nan turned and fled to her
room.
~~~~
Bess’s hand was soothing as it gently touched Nan’s shoulder.
“I don’t
know what happened!” Nan said between hiccupping sobs.
“It was just—so unlike Nat! He
left—just stood up and said—‘I have to go’!”
Bess, having
become as close as a sister to Nan, knew that Nan liked to appear strong but
often was very vulnerable inside. “Nan,
I’m sorry,” Bess said softly.
“Why?
Why did he do that—?”
Bess rubbed
Nan’s shoulder and stared unseeingly. Words
had always come easily to Bess. Her
mother said she had aristocratic bearing and a wide vocabulary.
At this moment, Bess didn’t have a clue what to say to Nan.
Nan buried
her face in her pillow, so her next words were barely intelligible.
“Was it—my fault . . . ?”
Bess frowned
and blinked. She stood statue-still, struggling to find the right words to
say. She knew a simple ‘no’
would not be helpful, and maybe not even truthful.
Slowly, a memory came to her. She
started talking, letting the words come out as they would, disregarding
refinement. “One day—Dan and I
were arguing. We had been married
only two weeks. . . . It was rather silly, actually. We were arguing over a meal. . . . I had cooked it, and it
was a pitiful burnt thing, but I had worked over it for hours, and I wanted Dan
to be pleased. He was making all
sorts of fun about it—you know how he is—and I was getting madder and
madder. Soon we were both yelling
at each other. He stomped out the
door, and I was afraid he might not want to come back.
Can you imagine? All this
over a burnt piece of steak! I was
so stubborn and proud, and didn’t want to say I was sorry.
But I was. I was terribly
sorry, and Dan was too. Sometimes I
don’t know how we get along when we’re both so stubborn!” Bess smiled
briefly. “Well, it took a while,
but we finally came to our senses and apologized. . . . But you know, it
wasn’t just the piece of steak. I
mean—we had never really loved each other the way we should have.
We went by the wrong things. Looks,
feelings. Those are fine in their
place, too, but we have to really love—even when there are faults.
We have to be committed, not just for a day, but for forever.
I’m sure you’ll find a lot of faults in Nat, but if you love him, you
can live with those and learn to forgive and be ready to ask for forgiveness.”
Nan sniffed
and turned to face Bess. “I do
love him,” Nan whispered. “But
I think I was letting my medicine come before him.”
Bess squeezed Nan’s hand. “Why
don’t we go join the search party?”
~~~~
The twilight had come on slowly, almost imperceptibly, in the forest.
Nat’s feet crunched over the branches as he headed back through the
woods. Soft, sad coos came from
mourning doves, and a whippoorwill called from far off.
A chilly breeze brought goose bumps out on his skin, and Nat rubbed his
arms absently as he walked. The
pine scent reminded Nat of Christmas, then of Nan, who had always loved pine
trees.
Nat’s
stomach growled. Crunch, crunch. The
leaves under his feet again reminded him of Nan, back in those years when leaves
and plants were fascinating objects to her. They still were, come to think of it, but she had moved on to
more sophisticated medicine. He
sighed heavily.
It seemed to
be pitch dark all of a sudden. Every
tree looked the same, shadowy and tall. Nat
shivered. He stood still, looking
about, wondering which direction he had come from.
If only he had listened to the tracking lessons Dan had learned from Mr.
Owens!
One thing he
did know was that it would be foolish to walk any further when he didn’t know
which way to go. So he sank down
and sat against a pine tree. He was
tremendously weary, but he couldn’t seem to sleep.
Even when he just closed his eyes, a noise would startle him. Wild animals were common in the woods. Feeling like a scared little boy, Nat sat with his eyes wide,
staring into the thick darkness.
~~~~
Nan grabbed a jacket and hurried toward the front door.
She was suddenly very eager to see Nat and tell him how sorry she was and
how much she loved him.
“Wait!”
Jo called. “I’m coming with
you. I’ll get a lantern. . . .
Stay here!”
Nan stood
impatiently, her eyes lurching from the front door to the hall to where Jo had
disappeared.
Bess was
shrugging her sweater on. Amy stood
up and confronted her, “You’re not going out there, are you?
Bess, it could be dangerous! There
are bears in those woods!”
Bess
struggled not to smile, remembering the ‘bear’ her mother had sworn to have
seen years ago. “Don’t worry,
Mother. We’ll be fine.
We might not even go into the woods.”
“Well, you
had better not!”
Jo returned
carrying a green enclosed lantern. “Let’s
go.”
Amy hugged
Bess. “Be careful!”
Nan felt
refreshed by the cool air as they trooped outdoors.
There was just a tinge of light at the horizon, but it was quickly
fading. She walked along at Jo’s side, repressing the urge to run
ahead.
“I wonder
where the men went,” Jo commented, the hanging lantern swinging with her
stride.
“I hear
them over there,” Nan said, straining to listen.
The voices were distant, but soon all three could make out the echo of
voices calling Nat’s name.
“We’ll go
on the other side of the road,” Jo said, leading the way.
“Do you
think Nat went in the woods?” Bess asked.
“Mother didn’t want us to go in there, but I suppose we’ll have
to.”
“Maybe.
Maybe not,” Jo replied. “We’ll
call his name and see if he responds.”
The three of
them called as loudly as they could. The
only answer was the whine of wind through the trees.
“We have to
go into the woods,” Nan said, starting forward.
Jo and Bess followed.
“We can’t
go too far or we’ll get lost,” Jo said.
“ . . . We
found him, Mama!” They turned to
see eleven-year-old Rob running towards them, Dan not far behind.
“We found Nat!”
They hurried
back to meet Rob and Dan. “Is he
okay?” Jo asked.
“Yes,
they’re coming,” Dan said, out of breath.
Nan didn’t
wait—she was running towards the other side of the road, calling Nat’s name.
Out of the
woods came the rest of the group. Nat
was behind Nick, who held a lantern. Nan
ran and flung her arms around Nat’s neck.
Nat hugged her, relieved that she wasn’t mad at him.
Relieved to see her again. Wondering
if she truly loved him.
Lace
background by:
Majestic Mountain
Very Victorian
Photo at the top of the page
is from The
Alternity Annex.
Title font is Esperanza.
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