Part 5
At the breakfast table, Nan asked, "Where's Isabel?"
"She left," Jo said sadly.
The chewing of food stopped and spoons clanked
against plates.
"What?" "Why?" a chorus
of voices asked.
"This explains it," Jo answered,
handing Isabel's piece of paper to Nan.
Nan studied it, then read the message aloud.
"She just left? Without knowing where
to go?" Dan said with a puzzled frown as he twirled his spoon around.
"Without saying goodbye," Nan added,
glaring at the note.
Jo held up a hand to stop the comments.
"She said goodbye in the note, though I was also disappointed she wouldn't
stay to say it to you personally. I got to talk to her before she left,
and she said—it was just killing
her—" Jo smiled at the unusual phrase,
"not knowing where Franz was." Jo studied her oatmeal.
"I admit I'm worried about him, myself."
"Ah, he'll be fine," Dan assured, half
grinning. "Bet he's learned to be a real tough cowboy, now. . . .
Watch him come back riding a wild bull!"
Jo smiled a bit, and her spoon circled through
her oatmeal. "I suppose you're right, Dan. He's a grown man,
and I can't worry about him all my life."
Dan cleared his throat, and Nan nodded and hopped
up.
Nat looked at Jo and said, "You know, Franz
was really good at keeping us all in line, and he's really smart."
"Yes," Jo smiled. "I'm not
so worried, really. It would just be nice to see him and know how he's
doing. He at least could have sent us a letter telling where he is!
That's a bit unlike him."
Nan reentered the room and Jo turned to look
around. Nan held a box wrapped in blue and white paper.
"What's this?" Jo said in surprise.
"It's for you, Mrs. Jo," Nan said
warmly. "We all pitched in."
Jo glanced from one smiling face to another, then
started unwrapping the package. "This is so sweet of you
all!" When she lifted the lid, her mouth dropped open. She
touched the soft blue fabric and ran her fingers down it gently.
"It's beautiful!" Jo beamed up at the children.
"Thank you so much! How did you manage to buy it? It must have
cost a lot."
"Bess helped us the most," Dan said,
looking sideways at Bess with a twinkle in his eyes. "Though I think
she wanted to buy another crazy Paris dress."
Bess wrinkled her nose.
Jo lifted the coat from the box and admired
it. "You are darlings! I've been wanting another coat, and this
one's perfect."
Nan smiled proudly. "We thought you
weren't up to your usual cheerful self, so we wanted to get something to make
you happy."
Jo looked at them with shining eyes.
"Thank you, everyone."
"You're welcome," they answered.
Jo stood up. "And now, I want to tell
you the best thing that has ever happened to me—today
God granted me repentance! I was never truly sorry for my sins and went
about doing good with pride in my heart, trying to work for salvation."
The children's faces showed disbelief.
"You weren't a Christian before?" Nat
asked.
"No, although I considered myself one," Jo
answered. "I tried to do right, but that, by itself, wasn't
good."
"But it's good to do good," Nan said
with a frown.
"Yes . . . but when we do good for the wrong
reasons—when
we think it will get us to heaven—it's
just a lie, and we're depending on ourselves when we should be depending on
Jesus' work on the cross."
Nan stared at the floor, and the others shifted
their feet and remained silent.
"I hope you all understand. It's very
important, and you should know that salvation is through Jesus alone," Jo
said.
Bess nodded slightly. "We
understand."
"Yeah," Dan said, "but—I
don' know. Jesus don't always seem real."
Jo stared in thought for a moment. "I
know. I'm not a preacher, but I know that the Bible has answers, and if
you read it, it will help you. . . . Not that it's a magical formula and will
clear everything up. We can't understand it all. But it is
the Word of God, and something to be read with care and deep respect, taken as
the absolute truth."
Emil and Tommy were the first to leave the room,
and soon they were all departing, pondering Jo's words.
Isabel had gone to the telegram office, hoping for a
message from Franz. There was nothing, and no one seemed to know where he
had gone. She had expected as much. He was out West, perhaps
cattle ranching somewhere. Nothing was easy in this world.
Isabel had hopped rides on several different
wagons that were heading west, helping take care of young children along the
way. Now, she was in the town of Hannibal, Illinois, where the railroad
would take over and she could journey westward much quicker.
Isabel opened her little purse at the train
station and looked up at the man at the counter window. "A one-way
ticket to Arizona, please," she said, laying the necessary amount of money
on the counter.
"Here you go, Miss," the man said,
smiling and scratching at his gray mustache.
Isabel started for the train, her boots scuffing
the dirt as she hurried towards it. She had missed a train or two, before.
She need not have worried. People were
still leisurely talking by the train, enjoying the fresh air while they could.
She climbed the stairs and settled into a
seat by a window. She still liked to look out and see the scenery as they
passed by it.
She was leaving Concord—where
she had met Franz—and
continuing her westward trek. Was
this really the right decision?
Nick rubbed his ink-stained hands and sat back to
admire his handiwork. Nothing special, of course, but it was from his
heart. He hoped Jo would be pleased. It was a drawing of her,
standing tall and smiling. "Don't look a thing like her," he
said with a sigh. "But I bet even a fancy artist couldn't draw her as
beautiful as she is." Underneath the drawing, he had written the
words, simply but sincerely: 'I love you Jo. -Nick'
He looked in the mirror and carefully combed his
hair.
He walked to the house and paused before Jo's
door. He gave his clothes a final brush to make sure there was no dust on
them. Then he knocked on the door.
"Come in."
Nick took a deep breath, feeling suddenly
nervous. He went in, holding his drawing behind his back.
Jo was at her table, writing, but she turned
around when he entered. "Oh, hello, Nick," she said cheerfully.
"Hi," he said. "I—uh—want
to give you something." He held out his paper, aggravated that he
felt like a foolish little boy.
Jo
took the paper. She laughed as she
looked at the drawing. Then, as her
eyes traveled to the bottom of the page, she became suddenly quiet and still.
“It’s
supposed to be you. I know it’s
awful, but I tried,” Nick mumbled. Still
Jo said nothing. Nick twisted his
hands together. “Jo . . . I do love you. More than
you can know.”
Jo’s
eyes were wide as she finally looked at him.
A little smile flickered across her mouth.
Nick
lowered himself to his knee. “Jo,
will you marry me?”
Jo’s
mouth was open in astonishment.
“I
don’t have a ring right now, but I’ll get one,” Nick reassured with a
grin.
“I
can’t, Nick—!” Jo cried and fled the room.
The room
was totally still. Nick, still
kneeling, could not move. This had
to be a nightmare.
Groping.
Jo was groping, stumbling. Twigs
and briars clawed at her accusingly.
Jo tripped
on a log. She let herself fall,
face-first into the leaves and dirt. She
sobbed, clutching the earth beneath her and wishing she could be swallowed up by
it.
Why, God? Why?
Her tears mingled with dirt. Why
did you let this happen? She
heard leaves rustling carelessly in the wind.
Answer me!
God, where are you? She
pounded the ground with her fists. God
had just saved her, given her a new life—now He was taking it all back!
She
couldn’t get the image of Nick’s confidant grin out of her mind.
Then—those wounded, shocked eyes.
“Why?”
she whispered.
No
voice—no whisper—answered her.
